I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
