So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just found a bag of teeth...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
