Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I still have a little drunk in my system
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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