1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize