he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
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There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
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We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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