when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
