Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I party with great urgency now.
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