She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
