it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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