The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
