Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!

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  (202): Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER! http://tfl.nu/jion
  Replies (30) Good night (4958) Bad night (811)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy

  (360): View more from Washington

  man i love america

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  (360): so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy (360): man i love america http://tfl.nu/mq4b
  Replies (16) Good night (4951) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.

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  (724): Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways. http://tfl.nu/hzks
  Replies (25) Good night (5209) Bad night (1694)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.

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  (402): next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first. http://tfl.nu/nkj3
  Replies (6) Good night (4758) Bad night (998)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time

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  (570): she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time http://tfl.nu/kzmt
  Replies (11) Good night (3468) Bad night (1153)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm

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  (603): You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm http://tfl.nu/1h6h
  Replies (2) Good night (2970) Bad night (739)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.

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  (812): I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad. http://tfl.nu/pu3r
  Replies (7) Good night (1646) Bad night (941)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.

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  (979): Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/s5ox
  Replies (14) Good night (2303) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.

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  (914): He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck. http://tfl.nu/kvtv
  Replies (10) Good night (2579) Bad night (865)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.

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  (330): Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me. http://tfl.nu/h3wh
  Replies (3) Good night (1532) Bad night (622)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.

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  (609): I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art. http://tfl.nu/g5lr
  Replies (14) Good night (2300) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.

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  (815): Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off. http://tfl.nu/t0xa
  Replies (7) Good night (2777) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.

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  (941): Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants. http://tfl.nu/rame
  Replies (31) Good night (1308) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even

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  (757): Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even http://tfl.nu/st9j
  Replies (7) Good night (714) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended

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  (414): Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended http://tfl.nu/wygn
  Replies (0) Good night (884) Bad night (307)

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