He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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