Non-Jews are for practice
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.