I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.