some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
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She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
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I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?