he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
