I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
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At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
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I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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