I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize