i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I believe in your delicious
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
