haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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