Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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