Duck Duck Cougar?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
