I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
