I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
