We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I could have mohawked her pubes.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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