question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize