And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
