Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize