sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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