I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
