Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
