Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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