I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
