Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
