Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
YAS. BRING CRAB.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize