I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize