either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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