you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
