he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
