would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
