All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
