about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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