i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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