Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
