I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
