But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
