People with herpes should wear stickers.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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