never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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