Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
