so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
