it was like his penis was on wheels.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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