this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
