I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
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i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
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If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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