did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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