this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Randomize
