the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize