...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
