i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
this is an emotional support booty call
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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