You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
