There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
